there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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