fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
