we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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