She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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