I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
