Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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