You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
