I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
