I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
