the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
