You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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