god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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