I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The dick lei will go down in squad history
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
