She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
