How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
