Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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