i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
