Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
