You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
420 ftw
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
