nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
