I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
