Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
