in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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