scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just gift wrapped bread.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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