my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
