i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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