Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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