I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
