I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
