is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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