Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
