Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
