My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
