Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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