I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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