he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
