You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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