All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
