i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
