38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
