Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
