My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
