I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
