grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
