You really coming over, don't trick.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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