The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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