A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
