I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
