hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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