A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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