I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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