i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
