i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
