Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i drank out of a bidet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
