He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
