I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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