Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
