bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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