Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
