You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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