I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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