I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
