Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
