dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
