I hate your face
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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